Saturday, November 24, 2012

The Jokes ON ME

Inspiration: To not allow myself to fall into addictive patterns of behavior, especially through exercise.

Greetings: I am almost there. This is day 20 of my promise to self to scribe. My musing for today is about exercise and yoga. I rarely ever write about this but truth be told I move often. I do some form of exercise usually six days per week.

In the past, I would exercise to escape my true feelings. To surpress what I was really feeling. While I no longer do this, thanks to yoga and meditation, I have been moving too much in the last two months. The reason; because someone I was involved with and care for deeply was coming to NYC for Thanksgiving to visit his family. We had tentative plans (but he says he was looking forward to seeing me and that he loved me).This is a man I had known for a few years. I was his trainer. We dated for about six months and since he was moving and I "wasn't the ONE" (or anyone else btw), we ended things.

I saw him while I was in L.A. last year and again this past May. We are psychically and karmically connected; a deadly combination. There is still chemistry between us, so I wanted to look "HOT" when we got together. Well, his week here is coming to an end and I have not heard from him. So the jokes on me. I have trained and done yoga, often days both, wanting to feel great and empowered.:)

Knowing him, it is not personal. This is who he is, and although he says communication is so important, he does anything but. I am not angry. I am free! Energetically, I also let my feelings for him spill into a blossoming friendship I am exploring with someone else. This even caused me to sabotage (energetically speaking what is growing ). He now needs "space".

So I will use this as a great lesson to self. A lesson to not give my power away or become distracted. To focus on me and surrender more deeply to SPIRIT, for healing and transformation...Maybe this sounds familiar. We, woman often times forget about what is really important and worry about pleasing others, when in fact the more we please ourselves, the more love there is, both internally and externally.

Think about it and have a "wonderful" evening.
With Love, Denise

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