Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Lost It IN A Cab Ride Today

Inspiration: To realize that no matter how much inner work I do, I am still HUMAN and possess some qualities that are not so great. :(

Anger. Not a positively charged emotion. But certainly one. Today my anger came out full-force on a very kind cab driver. It was not his fault that the cars were crawling through 79th Street Crosstown. It was my mistake not "listening" to my gut.

I was in need of a yoga class, but not just any class. A class that spoke to my mind, body and spirit. Who better than acclaimed Equinox yogi Adrian Molina. The only class that fit into my schedule he taught was at 6:15pm on 33rd and Park Avenue. Mind you, I reside on West 78th Street.  So about 45 minutes before the start of class, I make my way to the 79th Street Crosstown stop. It was about 5:35pm and I just missed a bus. The safe thing was to just grab a 6pm class on the West Side but that was just too easy.

So now it is nearly 5:45pm, no bus in sight. I quickly jump into a cab with a very kind driver. We muddle crosstown and I am beginning to "FREAK the F--K" Out ! I personally know Adrian well, and I did not want to be disrespectable and show up late. Truth be told, I have a lot of judgment about people who show up late to class. After today's experience, I will surrender this attitude.

To make the story shorter, traffic was rampant and I began to have a bit of a hissy fit. The old Denise was emerging. The angry, aggressive, but apologetic, "fiesty"Denise. A part of myself I long thought I threw away but just guess it was buried down inside. So I finally make it to class about 8 minutes late, jump in, and begin to breathe. Instantly, I feel better.

After class, I shared this experience with Adrian who gently reminded me that I am human and to try my best not to judge myself. It is so "wonderful" to have this reflected back to me.:). Life continues to be a journey and a process. Be kind to yourself, be present and stay positive.

Have a very "peaceful" evening.

With Love, Denise

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Jivamukti Yoga: On A Blizzard Day in NYC

Inspiration: To continue to venture outside of my neighborhood, regardless what the weather is doing.

Greetings. It it the day after Christmas and my ex-husbands birthday. Truth be told, this is the first year that I really didn't curse him and actually wished him a happy birthday (silently of course). A year of growth for me, right? So what does this have to do with this post? Absolutely nothing.....

Anyway, today is a rather snowy day here in the Big Apple. They are expecting nearly 16 inches by this time tomorrow evening. For the most part, I canceled most of my appointments tomorrow because travel can become "complicated."  A good day for reflection , introspection and some kindness.

Well for some reason today, I decided I need to take a yoga class full of chanting, breathing and devotion. What better place than Jivamukti yoga in Union Square. A place I had practiced much prior, but the devotion (and cultish attitudes) began to get on my nerves. Sometimes, it is just nice to flow and not think so much. So today, I ventured down in this winter wonderland at 3pm to try out a teacher who had been in my trajectory (or list of teachers to experience) for a while.

Class started out will oming and a call and response. The warm-up consisted of about one minute of do whatever you want. Within five minutes we were attempting handstand in the middle of the room. The standing series was short, and we were at the wall for most of the class going upside down and doing hip opening poses. Sounds like fun right? Not really.  The instructors voice ( a she) was speaking via microphone in a tone reminiscent of performing. Performing for who? I just needed to have a decent class, flow, structure and mediation. Is that too much to ask for?

If I am complaining, I really don't mean to as complaining is a negative energy. I was just a bit disappointed as was hoping for a better experience being I traveled downtown and crosstown. However, the healing benefits of a yoga practice always shine through. I am calmer and more in my body. Ready for anything to happen, or not. Sounds good. :-)

What did you do on this "magical" wintry day ? Hopefully something divine.:)

Wishing you all a very "peaceful" evening.

With Love, Denise

Thursday, December 23, 2010

To Live in the World But Not be of The World

Inspiration: To continue to participate in life more fully.

For many years, I have been a on a deep, interior journey into the core of my being. It first began when I was 29 years of age, in a totally different place. Without going into story, I asked the question out loud "There has to be another way to do this, because this way of living is not for me." I was extremely unhappy.

Fast forward to December 2010 at 44 years young. I was living in California from 2000-2003 with a man I thought would be a lifelong partner. During this time, I completely abandoned my spiritual beliefs and what had sustained me prior. After this ended, I was back in NYC committed to begin my life in a whole new way. Through a series of events, both physical and emotional, my world as I knew it was transformed profoundly. Many times the great suffering we are asked to endure, is necessary to bring us to where we are headed.

So after many introspective and contemplative years, I am ready to enter the world in a much more grounded, secure and spirited way. The deep appreciation I feel now go way beyond words. I am so grateful for all of my teachers and "guides" who have stood by, waiting for me to birth this new chapter. Being an Aries, first sign of the Zodiac, I tended to be an all or nothing person. All the way or no way. You get my drift.:-) Now I am integrating all that I have learned and experienced without completely losing myself as I have done prior.

Mind you, it takes me many a ritual and prayer to be here. There is truth and protection through "communing" each day in some small way. Whether it be a walk in nature or a meditative practice, quieting down is essential if we are to be able to be among this world, but not lose ourself to this world.

My wish is for all of us to find our way with ease, beauty and grace.

Have a very "sweet" evening.

With Love, Denise

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Be True to You

Inspiration: To do my best to live the highest truth.

In a week's time, it will be Christmas. A festive and "soulful" holiday that unites individuals from all walks of life. Although, I am born into a JEWISH family, for some reason I feel a deeper connection to this day. Maybe it is all the lights and greenery.:-) Who knows. I do tell some people that  I don't  have a Jewish soul and they think I am insane.

Anyway, it is important for all of us to be true to ourselves. No matter what anyone says or thinks. To really listen to that voice within, that speaks quietly but oh so powerfully. This season gives us the opportunity to be still, listen and give accordingly. Giving can mean something as simple as a silent prayer. There is so much "power" in this that cannot be explained by the rational. A lovely card or compliment is also sweet.

So whatever it is that moves you, let it move you. Give accordingly, but also be OPEN to receiving. Receiving love, blessings and miracles.....Always.

Have a very "peaceful" day.

With Love, Denise

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Be Carefull What You Wish For....

Inspiration: To take my own advice I give to others.

Well, where do I begin. I have been praying for romance. A man who embodies a multitude of qualities and characteristics. I even have written then out numerous times, in detail asking God to fill in any missing blanks.  As in the title post, be careful what you wish for....

Most recently, I had dinner with a man I have known casually for years. He embodies many of the qualities I have asked for, but on the "physical"  we are very different. Meaning, I am quite active and health conscious and him not so much. But is the physical the most important ? It does play a role, but is it everything??? As I am in awe of the miracles that abound through spirit, I will take my own advice. Not be "superficial." Let it go.I pray for clarity.....

Maybe I am getting too far ahead, since we only went out once (so far). What can I say, he understands who I really am.......He is a good looking guy who has a few pounds to lose and here I am, miss obsessive, addictive ( historically and sometimes), the exerciser and healthy foodie. What is a girl to do.:-) Guess I will just continue to breathe and surrender even more deeply.....

For right now, I will lovingly embrace the possibility that someone "gets me.". Who knows what will happen. That is the gift of "mystery".

So what have you been wishing for? Hoping and possibly praying for? The spirit (non-physical) world has no conception of time and space. Patience, practice and persistent truth is essential to keep the faith. So go ahead and make as many wishes as you desire. Be very clear as you will get exactly what you ask for.:-)

Have a "sweet" evening.

With Love, Denise

Thursday, December 2, 2010

How Are You Managing Stress?

Inspiration: To do my best to listen to what I teach to others.

Stress. The accumulation of a multitude of obligations and responsibilities from the outside world. The more we take on, the more important it is to have an "outlet" to handle the frustrations that may arise.

As a teacher, I am really good at instructing others. To guide them in a direction that may assist them in living more "peacefully." While I am a teacher, I am first and foremost a student.  Most recently, my accumulation of "stress", whether real or mentally created has been overwhelming.  My vocation has brought AMAZING people into my life. The flip side, is that I do a lot of daily travel, sometimes to four to five locations, which leaves me exhausted.  Add to this mix, I keep up my own integrity of movement a multitude of times per week.

So I just got back from my favorite acupuncturist, Gabriel Sher. He told me what I knew to be true. When he first saw me he said you look exhausted. After checking my pulse and tongue (this is what they do to get a sense of how your organs are functioning in Eastern Medicine) he was a bit surprised how depleted I was. So I received an hour long treatment and left feeling refreshed. :-)

Then I made the mistake of doing errands and rushing around. My mind started to spiral. A quick stint to Riverside Park was needed to ask "God to Help Me! Wish I could have stayed there, but being I was the only one there with a designer purse, probably not the best idea. Now back home, I quickly ate a rushed dinner and turned on the computer to check face book. So very shortly I will take some of my own medicine. An epsom salt bath, lavender incense burning and a "sweet" book.

No matter what the day has brought you, it is good idea to have some sort of calming ritual before bedtime. While I was hoping scribing this would calm me a bit, I seem to find myself "buzzing". Probably best to head to the bathtub soon.

Have a very "peaceful" evening.

With Love, Denise