Tuesday, January 22, 2013

When You Least Expect It

Inspiration: Anything can happen anytime, no matter what.

It's finally winter here in NYC. Yesterday it was 52, today it's 20. I spent the majority of this long holiday weekend in bed, nursing a very bad head cold. Out the window went my favorite yoga classes and time with others. So much for planning...

I stayed in my apartment, without television (but Neflix on comp)... Slept, ate, read; both online and the myriad of books on my shelf. A time of really going inside. Talk about being still. This was like elongated meditation times 10,000!!!

So today after two days in hibernation, I ventured out in the freezing cold to work and later to visit an oral surgeon to have something removed in my mouth. Nothing major, just something that didn't look kosher. On my way back home from East to West side, I find myself on a bus with a woman preaching the gospel of Jesus. Literally walking up and down, talking to others in Spanish. I do my own fair share of devotion, but really just wanted to sit and daydream out the window of the streets of the city. It was a bit difficult.

For me, nature holds the key to peace, calm and clarity. I was determined to catch even a glimpse of solitude and serenity, no matter how f **kin cold it was in Riverside Park this afternoon. Shortly after returning West, I walked one of my favorite paths in this extraordinary park and then ventured into a local market for some items.After stuffing my face with some ready made portabello mushrooms, I make my way towards home.

I was walking down the street where I practice yoga, two blocks from home, when all of a sudden I saw him! The guy I have been waiting to see, since we first met a month ago unexpectedly in yoga class. A class I frequently take that he doesn't (but did on that day). We had noticed one another before a couple of times in passing in the form of a few big smiles. There was definitely a spark, some sort of chemistry, a good vibe. A vibe unlike no other man I had ever been draw to before. A calming energy to my forceful zen...

So here I am walking, trying to stay warm and I look up. It's him all bundled up and he says, "Hi, How are you doing" and continues to walk by. There was a girl near him but don't know if they were together or not. The bigger message is...I was feeling crappy, went for a walk in nature, cleared my head and BOOM!!! I see the guy I have been hoping to see for many weeks. What can I say? You just never know....Be open to everything and attached to nothing. That is the message for this moment.

Shine your light. Speak your truth. Live abundantly. Always.

With Love, Denise

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

An Upper West Side CLASSIC

Inspiration: To continue to open up to new avenues.

It was a foggy Sunday evening. A dear new friend I had met most recently in yoga class was leaving for her home in Nepal the following morning. So I really wanted to see her before she left. We were supposed to meet for class that afternoon, but she had much to do; places to go people to see.

So I ended up saying farewell ( for now) at her apartment she shares with a lovely, incredibly brilliant, versatile woman. When I arrived a bit past 6 pm, it was a full house. Her roomies sister, niece and mom were over. I felt as if I was intruding, but they lovingly invited me in. I had had an early diiner, so I was pretty full. Turns out they had just ordered theirs from "Big Nicks".

Big Nicks, an Upper West Side staple, that has been around for decades. There are two locations, one on Broadway and the other off Columbus Avenue. At the Broadway spot, they have outdoor seating when weather permits. When I have walked by, I have seen heaping piles of french fries smothered in cheese, enormous burgers, and decadent pizzas, just to name a few. Known for the grease and decadence, it is open 24 hours.

This entourage was having the Big Nick for dinner. The last time I was here, was on Thanksgiving, where Zabars was lovingly catered with a free-range turkey. A healthy, clean meal. Knowing I am a health fantantic and very mindful of my eating, her roomie says. " Your not going to eat this are you?" I had explained that I had dinner prior, but to show I was somewhat NORMAL would try it.

The food arrived over an hour later because her sister ordered from the wrong location. You had to be there...truly a Seinfeld episode. I managed to stuff my face ( I was full already) with a yummy slice of cheese pizza, with onions, broccoli and mushrooms (only the top). Also on the menu was fried zuchini sticks, spagetti in meat sauce and two variations on desert. I believe a chocolate cheesecake and something that looked like devils food cake.

My thoughts during this whole meal were: "So this is how most people really eat!" No wonder why I was thin and in shape. But was I fulfilled? Ah, that is the question. The answer food wise was a definitive NO. Eating is joy, it sustains our beautiful body, temple. While eating a strict regimen has it's benefits, it also lacks flexibility. The key is flexibility. So with this wonderful lesson, I promise myself to entertain the "Big Nick" sometime in the future.

I had a wonderful evening and my beloved friend Naila gifted me with a beautiful healing Buddha I attached to my mala beads from her homeland. I will miss my friend but will see her when she returns in the Summer. We should immediately visit the Big One upon her return....

So why do I bother to write this stuff? As an "invitation" to EXPAND. To expand your vision of what you think something is. It doesn't have to be in the sense of food, or it can. What have you been holding onto with rigidity? What are you afraid of and why? Just a few thoughts to pine over if you desire.:) Think about it and have a magical day!

With Love, Denise

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Let It Go, Let It Flow...

Inspiration: To release and clear my heart from the past in all ways, in all directions.

Happy 2013! A new year, a clean slate. As many of us begin yet again, we carry forward our experiences. Whether positive or not, these experiences help us to grow and evolve. Are you happy what you FEEL internally or might there be a bit of remorse?

Most recently I've re-tweeked" for a better word, a long standing, physical injury. This occurred in the year 2006 and was traumatic for me. In  February, NYC had a 26in covering of white snow. My staircase had been shoveled, but what remained was a sheeting of black ice I did not see...

While some of the pain has still lingered, I thought I had made peace with it, since I am still able to workout to my hearts content and do most yoga poses (except some really cool arm balancing). There was indeed negligence on the part of my landlord, but I was "guided" not to pursue an legal action at the time.

So here we are in 2013. Last week we had a sprinkling of snow. A sprinkling that barely covered the streets on the city. However, there seemed to linger a small layer of black ice partially forming on my brownstone steps; so I needed to be mindful when I walked up and down. For some "strange" reason, I fell suddenly, just like I did many years ago. The difference being, I fell towards the bottom, grabbed the railing with one hand, while my "tweeked" arm hit the concrete while in 06 I slid down the entire showcase. I could not believe this was happening again.

My physical activity has been a bit limited and I have been in pain. As I been praying for guidance, asking why this happened yet again. Why this, why now. There may be a myriad of reasons for this but last night I was gifted with this divine rationale (or at least I think so). Let me explain.

Earlier that day I had taken a yoga class (modified) so I could continue to open myself up and move the energy. Shortly afterwards,. I took my sunset nature walk along the river, which always brings me peace. I had noticed that my heart center ( actually the middle of my chest 4th Chakra) was feeling heavy, congested; energetically speaking. I was really surprised at this heaviness I was experiencing.

My injury occurred in my left shoulder, arm and hand. In Chinese medicine, this is connected to the HEART. Pretty cool! So last night lying in my bed, listening to some dreamy music, my higher self told me I was holding on to the past wounding and betrayals. This past month especially has been heavy for me as three men I have been involved with (some much much longer than others) had there birthdays within four days of one another. My ex-husband, a past relationship and a BOY (you know what I mean) I had a fling with recently.:(

So I began to weep, then I began to cry, then I began to empty myself with every fiber of my being. The tears continued to fall like buckets for a little bit, but what I realized was that this was a necessary part of my healing; to release and free up my heart center. When I finished my cleanse, my heart felt more open and my injury was feeling better. Interesting right?

I share this with you now because many of us hold onto our past. Whether we realize this or not, it lays heavy on our hearts. Our ability to love fully, our ability to be unconditional and free.You don't need to have an injury to explore what emotional blockages you may be experiencing. All setbacks, are ultimately a gift, a lesson to look at for review.

The question is "What is really going on? How are you FEELING?" Give yourself the permission to feel the fullness of your feelings. Many have learned that it is cowardly to cry. It actually is the exact opposite. It is the most freeing thing we can do for our cell tissue, for our hearts. Try it, you may like it..You know what I mean anyways.

Remember, you are all beautiful divine beings. Choose to release that which no longer serves and create the space for divine miracles and magic in you life! You are deeply loved. Always.

From my heart to yours.

Wishing you much love and peace,.