Tuesday, May 31, 2011

My EGO in Yoga

Inspiration: To continue to be aware of when my ego is taking over the experience.

Yoga, yoga, yoga and more yoga. The choices, classes and teachers are endless. The best way to decide is to feel what is right for you in the moment. This past weekend, I felt a yin for devotion. So I sought out a new teacher who I never practiced with before.

So at 3pm on Sunday, I find myself at Jivamukti yoga. A place I have practiced at on and off for years, depending on what I needed.  Class usually begins with chanting and devotion. But on this day we started with some puttering in downdog and chaturanga. Then began the devotional piece. What I was hoping for was something uplifting, transformative that invoked a specific god or goddess. Instead what we received was " Lokah  Samasta Sukhino Bhavantu"...translation:

May all beings everywhere be happy and free and may the thoughts words and actions of my own life in some way contribute to that happiness and freedom for all...Beautiful, right?

Not for me. Not at that moment. My EGO wanted something more, greater.  I was annoyed, especially since we chanted this endlessly ( at least it felt that way). But after the teacher began to explain devotion more eloquently, I slowly began to dissolve my judgments and allow surrender in. When the first tune began to play, I loved it! It uplifted me... Needless to say, after listening more closely, the chant was Lokah Samasta Sukhino Bhavantu.

Class was beautiful, ecstatic and flowing. Tamir Samir is a lovely teacher. Another example of me softening my ego in yoga ."You can't always get what you want, you get what you need"...RStones
 Have a very "peaceful" day.

With Love, Denise

Monday, May 23, 2011

How Does Time Limit Us?

Inspiration: In truth, time does not exist. It is ALL happening now...

Time. We are slaves to the clock, our schedules and our own agendas. We may feel that we are running out of time. What does that really mean?

Yesterday, I was immersed in a six hour bhakti devotional class for my yoga training. As it turned out, I was facing directly in front of the clock. My first response was " this day is gonna last forever". My friend offered to turn the clock around but I insisted it stay in the exact place it was. The reason being, I needed to confront my attachment to the clock and time STANDING still.....As I continued to stare at the clock for most of the day, I had moments of complete release to the teacher and the subject. In those moments, I felt time did not exist as I enjoyed these insights and musings.

I share this with you because at times, (hence time) we may all feel stuck. Such thoughts as "I am not where I am supposed to be.....When will this or that happen....I can't wait any longer." If we could just accept where we are and let go of our ego agendas of the how and when, a lot more space would be created within. These are the seeds of creation. Then time does not hold us hostage. We allow each moment to be as it should be; to enjoy what is. This takes practice and patience.

So I invite you all lovingly to embrace time. This moment, right now. Allow for the sweetness and the unexpected to happen.....:-)

With Love, Denise

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

The Mysterious Flowers

Inspiration: To continue to believe in miracles...

A short, true tidbit from Mothers Day......On Sunday evening, I received a call from my mom saying "Thank you for the flowers, they are different." This was after I had taken an "amazing" yoga class at Pure Yoga with one of my favorites Ariel Karass. Not only is this man soulful, kind and creative; he has the unique ability to bring tears to my eyes with his words before we begin to FLOW.

Anyway, back to mom. So I give my mom a call after working through my feelings. Again, she says "thank you for the flowers." I reply " Really? Did I send some." to which she really does say YES. I thought about it but did not send them. There were really flowers delivered to her. I asked if there was a card and she said it must have fallen off. Talk about the twilight zone......To whatever "powers" that be, I say a big THANK YOU. In the real world, this must have been meant for someone else, but in the world of "spirit" or the divine, these were meant for my mom. :-)

Another reminder, that there are powers beyond our rational understanding that are at work. I savor in these divine events that cannot be explained by the rational. So whenever you have doubt, try to hold space for possibility beyond your conscious comprehension.

Have a very "peaceful " evening.

With Love, Denise

Sunday, May 8, 2011

How Much Should We Sacrifice For Our Mom?

Inspiration: To do what feels right, especially when it comes to family.

Happy Mothers Day! A day when mothers are celebrated for being  loving, caring, compassionate and nurturing to their children. Today they are doted on with flowers and gifts. While this is a lovely day to honor them, sometimes guilt or should's arise. On a very personal level I will explain. I adore my mom.
We used to be "best friends". I told her everything, well, almost.:-). Believing in unconditional love from a parent, I thought that whatever I was feeling I could share. Big, huge mistake.

While having dinner with a friend last night she asks "Are you going home for Mother's Day? To this question, my answer is no......Without going into story, at that moment situations from early on in my childhood arose, with specific details I have not remembered in decades. This brought up a lot of the old wounding I thought was already cleared through varies modalities. Interesting, how the body holds onto painful memories.

The reason I share this with you now, is the "awakening" (they keep on coming) into why I (we) experience feelings in seemingly unrelated situations that push my buttons. It is not the situations per se, it is the underlying emotions that we bury, deep, inside that are triggered by certain people. For years, I have allowed these unconscious emotions to spiral. Through my own journey and love of yoga and healing, this is softening. Many tears have fallen over the past few days. This has created more space within as my heart is opening more fully. :-)

So today, mothers day, I will spend taking care of me, the divine feminine, mother energy. I will send love and blessings to my mother with the deepest intention of her finding her own truth, clarity and freedom. Honor thyself, without guilt.  Be loving, be soulful, be free.....

Have a very "peaceful" day.

With Love, Denise