Thursday, July 8, 2010

Anger and the Physical Body

Inspiration: To be grounded and centered in the midst of the changes around me.

The physical body. A direct indication of where we are "out of sync". It could be in our emotions or manifest in some form of injury or disease. Truth be told, my body has been a stern, but faithful teacher. Through my own experience, I am continuing to learn that our emotions have a direct effect on the way we feel.

Late last year, I had undergone robotic laproscopic surgery for some female "stuff". This was minimally invasive and the remnants were a few incisions with now minimal presence. The blessing of this type of procedure, is that you can go back to your normal physical activities in a bit over two weeks. So when it was time to get clearance, the doctor said I was good to go.

A small voice inside of me told me to "wait". But, the kind, young (less than my 44 years), handsome doctor insisted that if I did not go back, I wouldn't be in the shape I was in. Truth be told, in hindsight, he did not realize the "shape I was in" or the way (intensity) I trained. So against my inner guidance, I went back slowly for me. At about the two month mark, I began to practice yoga again. The doctor said I could do this immediately but at least I knew that sun salutations were not my friend at the time.

So fast forward a bit over 8 months and I look down at my navel: even study it closely for the first time. I notice the shape had changed slightly, from a perfect inny to a weird shape. Then I notice after exercising vigorously, it does not feel right. No pain, just not as it is supposed to be.

The investigator in me did some research and after a visit to the doctor, followed by a cat scan, it is discovered I have a slight umbilical hernia. Pissed is not the word. Raging is more like it. First thought, more surgery. I am very EASTERN in my thought process and for me to have surgery last November was big HUGE!!! After finding out a week ago I am still pissed.

Upon closer look with a teacher of mine, I discover under these emotions is really fear. Fear of what will be. Fear this will not resolve itself. Fear that there is something more to there is always a gift in what appears to be the chaos.

After teaching yoga last evening and feeling the gratitude, from myself and the students,a sense of ease and peace came over me. This morning I awoke to a less inflamed belly button, a direct mirror of my emotional body.

Anger creates inflammation in the body. It may not be visible and can show up as arthritis and such. Just remember, it is important to get to the source of what you are feeling, although it is unpleasant. Release, surrender and pray for clarity and support. You will feel lighter.... All the will arrive at the right moment. :-).

Have a very "peaceful" day.

With Love,

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